Bring to mind a bird with its wings close to its sides. We all know without the bird flapping its wings, it
    won’t fly nor thrive. It might not survive.

    We tell our children we can’t wait they spread their wings and fly. Some do and others don’t.

    Just perhaps when a child isn’t successful with spreading their wings is when we as parents hold on too
    tight – by micro-managing or being a control freak- we doubt our own teachings. When we hang on oh so
    tight, denying the child an opportunity to learn from their choices (with us at their side supporting them
    rather than smothering) the child hasn’t learned how to flap their wings. It’s important to have a few crash
    and burns, and go for it again. It’s as though their wings have been invisibly bound.

    Too many times when the child does have opportunities before them they go hog wild and more times than
    not, they find trouble of one sort or another. In situations like this, they haven’t developed the inner tools to
    take care of themselves (fly), instead they redefine the situation into being their fault and one more time
    they were a failure.

    In some situations, as an example, as I got older not only did I go hog wild and make bad choices I
    continued to be attracted to situations where my parents would shudder. You see, in all of their love for me
    and wanting to protect me, they didn’t realize they were denying me the opportunity to learn how to fly with
    them as my guide. Instead I learned a lot about doing life the hard way.

    Another way of using the bird analogy: when we hang on too tight, we squeeze the life out. Teaching and
    training includes trusting ourselves and each other. As we trust our teaching, we let go.

    Another spin on control: Clients have shared how they’ve been accused by their partner of being a control
    freak. A situation comes to mind where a woman admitted she is a control freak and she’s tired of telling
    him what to do yet she doesn’t believe he can do things the way she wants them done – and they HAVE to
    be DONE HER WAY. This requires a lot of energy while the message being delivered is one that the other
    partner isn’t capable of doing a good job.

    She squeezed the life out of the relationship.

    Developing internal tools make life so much easier.

    Continue reading ...
.Ponderings ...

.ALetting go ...
Privacy Policy  © 2008 Glenda Gibbs, Changing Perceptions  All rights reserved  
Glenda Gibbs ∙ Changing Perceptions ∙ 2640 W Bruneau Pl. Kennewick WA 99336∙ Office: 509.585.9683

Glenda Gibbs, Integrative Coach