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Glenda Gibbs, Integrative Coach

.AWhat do you want?
    I moderate a group ("The Secret") on www.eons.com. The following person submitted her question  
    and I responded.       

    Hi everyone,

    Just wondering how you deal with people in your life who are NEGATIVE- people who see only the
    negative, who complain, are not grateful for all they have, etc. etc. I try my best to look for the good  
    in these people, but sometimes it's so hard. I think the reason is, truthfully, because I used to be   
    one of those people. Now I am different - I have changed but they are still the same. Anyone have
    any thoughts on this issue? Thanks.
                 .........................................................................................................

    My response:

    I'm going to give you an example or two. I had a client in session last night who was opposed to her
    parent's and sibling's less than her standard way of life. She has put a lot of effort not being like them
    yet when she's around her mother she tells me her buttons are pushed - she says her mother is
    negative.

    I asked her how this experience with her mother reflected her own negativity - how was she like her
    mother - with discussion and exploring my client recognized that she was harboring unfinished issues
    with her mother (that's why being around her mother pushed buttons). She also recognized she was
    unable to admit she was like them (denial) as she wouldn't be able to measure up to her own internal
    standard believing as she'd removed herself from all of that negativity (physical and emotional) she  
    was BETTER. She had to be in judgment and look down upon them to support her theory that she    
    was better.

    Life is a composite of polarizations, dark/light, good/bad, up/down, push/pull, right/wrong, black/white,
    yes/no, better/worse, negative/positive - one without the other is without balance.

    Universe seeks balance which always includes opposites to experience wholeness.

    When we deny a negative we also deny the positive.

    The mask of denial drew negativity to her. When we speak of reflection - this means something that   
    we find unacceptable in another indicates we hold similar energy/emotion. The reaction we have is a
    cue to let us know something's going on in within. If there wasn't something there then we wouldn't have
    a reaction.

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